The Infinite Escape Room

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The Infinite Escape Room Quest - Part 1

This is part 1 of a 4 part special! Oh boy oh boy oh boy - we have wanted to run another one of these ever since we did our first D&D miniseries. This time, we're using the Quest RPG system, and we've got to say we absolutely love it. 

Tony guides Me, Ben, Bailey and Jamie through a fantastic adventure, filled with quirky powers, great puzzles, daft gadgets and dodgily accented characters.

We recorded this in one big 6 hour session - with Tony putting in some nice chapter points for us to break the episodes up. Should we have called it chapters rather than parts? Yes. Bugger. Oh well.

In part 1 we find ourselves transported once more to a magical world, and in to the bodies of our characters:

Ben is Forquare Quendien - A halfling wizard. He can use magic strike, kindle, blink and other abilities. he's armed with a staff, a dagger a longsword and a Fray Bentos tinned tent. He's doesn't say much, but his magical violence does the speaking for him.

Bailey is Bailinator Jones - A half orc fighter. She Can use counterattack, wild attack, provoke and other abilities. She's armed with a double-headed axe, a longsword, some Swansea knuckledusters, and some kiln gauze. Last year this orc saw the pork.

Jamie plays Luck, Stuck and Bugger - A trio of goblin spies in a trenchcoat. They can use sneak attack, poison, disguise and spyglasses, and are armed with a scimitar, a club, a dagger and some lockpicks. They have the look of someone underage trying to get in to the cinema.

Mike plays Clam Strumlington, an oversexed and underbrained shapeshifting bard. Can use Shapeshift, Wild Aspect and Gills as well as other skills.  Armed with a Rapier, a Battle Lute and a Dagger. Also have a magical flask of Brandy. Clam is the party's resident goon.

You can also peruse our character sheets from the campaign, including blurbs, abilities and inventories.

The map maker we make mention of can be found here: .  And here's the map itself:


And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You fab folk you.

Defeat Facebook, and Escape the Zuck!

This week, Dom, Anna and Laura find themselves at the behest of Mike's Mars Bar wielding Elon Musk.

In order to complete his total domination of social media, they'll need to infiltrate Facebook HQ and get the platform cancelled! But watch out for the Zuck's stinger!

Is it one of Mike's tightest puzzles? Possibly not. Did he have a lot of fun doing the voices? Yes he did.

Also Jamie cameo's in this episode in one of our most/least copyright infringing characters depending on if he's wearing a shirt. See if you can spot it.

And don't forget, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon for extra perks, or hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to wink saucily at us in 140 something characters or less.

Escape the PI Office

Nondiagetic sax jazz plays as Laura, Jamie, Mike, and Ben attempt to escape the sparsely furnished office of a private investigator. Omnipotent Dom has crafted a colourful puzzle mixing high stakes with a moody atmosphere.
  • Who is Ruby Magnum?

  • What's locked inside the baffling desk drawers?
  • Can Laura outwit Dom as swiftly as the last time?
  • Is nondiagetic even a word?
  • Will we ever make it back home to Mom...?
Join a bumper four-person solver to find out!

Escape Being Boris’ Aide

Laura, Mike, and Aled reporting for duty! Join our crack team of political put-it-righters as they advise the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom on how to best navigate his blunders.
Email after email comes through to the team, will they be able to figure out how to log into the computer to read them
  • Does Mike spend all episode in the bat cave?
  • Will Aled ever make it out of the toilet?
  • Can Laura corral the other two into actually helping to solve the puzzle?
  • How close does Mike get to short-circuiting the puzzle?
For fun, fictional frolics, and some "mild ribbing" ->tune into this weeks episode!
Please note that while characters in this episode are real, many of the situations posed are works of fiction.

Save Harambe! (feat. Step Lockyer from Enigmailed)

This week, Mike, Ben and special guest Step Lockyer from Enigmailed join forces to save the Internet's most beloved gorilla from certain death, thus averting the final apocalypse of the 21st century.
We've got a little Q&A with Step at the start of the show before getting into the puzzle itself.
If you're not already following Enigmailed you can do so on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok.
And if you want to get news of when Enigmailed's Kickstarter campaign for Notable remains goes live, you can sign up for updates on the campaign page.
And don't forget, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon for extra perks, or hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to say nice things about us.

Escape Farage’s Flat Roofed Boozer

Welcome to the Shiv and Staffy. is it just your standard dodgy estate flat roofed boozer? Or is it also the secret headquarters of internationally renowned fuckwits UKIP?

"I've just shot us all in the foot, why do our feet hurt? It's probably the fault of foreigners." ~ The wit and wisdom of Nigel Farage OBE

Join the Mike H and Sam as they unravel its secrets, and find Mike C's time travelling stabby solution to Brexit.

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You fab folk you.

Escape The British Museum

This week the team find themselves in the bowels of The British Museum on a very inauspicious day. Mother's day. Also the day the world ends. Apparently.

Escape The 2012 Olympics at Trafalgar Square

Laura and Dom find themselves back in 2012 during the London Olympics. They must find the missing Olympic Torch before the opening ceremony comes to Trafalgar Square!
  • Will Dom and Laura find the torch?
  • Does cleaning the place up help at all?
  • What on earth is a rampant lion doing in Trafalgar Square?
All of this, and much more in this weeks episode!

Escape the Superhero Lab

Hey there, true believers!
Join The Amazing Mike and The Astonishing Laura as they genetically enhance themselves to escape this rather super little puzzle.
  • Will Mike be able to unclog the drain through hair pulling alone?
  • Will Laura be able to guess Jamie's combination lock yet again?!
  • And just what did Mike do with that risqué poster?
Find out in this issue of The Infinite Escape Room.
If you'd like to play along, you'll need this:
Don't forget, if you'd like to listen to these episodes a week early, or peek behind the curtain and listen to the bits we cut out, please consider joining our Patreon!

Heston’s Time Travelling Turkey Twizzler Caper

This week Danny, Alan and Jon try and solve Mike's frightful Heston Blumenthal time travel Turkey Twizzler puzzle, all the while uncertain as to whether something else, some deep dreadful metatask is at foot.

Spoiler, there is - but there isn't - BUT THERE IS.

Will they find the pretty much accurate secret recipe? Or will they succumb so suspicion? TIFO!

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You fab folk you.

Escape Narnia.

Imagine if you lived in a peaceful, snow covered country that was absolutely perfectly fine until unpleasant things started falling on it. This isn't what you think...and also, sort of is.

But, tasteful.


Aled, Mike and Annekoos try and worm their way out of Jon's horrendous snowscape...with music!

Escape the Swimming Pool

Join Jamie and Jon as they tread water and try to stay abreast in this fun swim puzzle!
  • What location did Jamie suggest first?

  • Will Jon have to be censored?
  • How is Pooh involved in all of this?
Sit back and belly laugh along with the best in this snack sponsored edition of The Infinite Escape Room!
Ah yes, snacks! Thanks very much to for sponsoring this episode!

Escape the Chunder at 20,000ft

Our perilous puzzlers find themselves inside a plane that's inside a giant eagle!


Join Ben and Tony as they  puzzle their way through the plane in an attempt to get to the bathroom before their in-flight meal becomes something else entirely.

Just how deep into coconut lore will Ben go?

Who will invest in Tony's new urinary invention?

And who the hell is flying this plane?


Tune in and find out!



This episode is snack-sponsored by Enigmailed's Excalibar's Sword - a white chocolate Eton Mess chocolate bar covered with puzzles. Check them out at and tell them that The Infinite Escape Room sent you!

Escape the Wizard’s Sleeve

Keep your mind out of the gutter, and your imagination in Gandalf's armpit as the gang find themselves the victim of a well intentioned magical whoopsie.

  • Will they listen for suspicious silences?
  • Will they check themselves before the wreck themselves?
  • Are hankies internationally recognised?

Tune in, find out!

Also this episode was recorded using a Zoom H2n in Alan and Bailey's lovely (if slightly echoey, sorry!) dining room.

This episode was snack sponsored by Enigmailed, who sent us some chocolate. You can support the podcast yourself by sending us snacks, or via our  Patreon.

Escape The Wacky Races

Remember Dick Dasterdly? Remember Mutley? Remember Penelope Pitstop? If any of these names mean anything to you then you were either a) a child in 1968 or b) a child after 1968 watching re-runs of a very curious little specimen of a cartoon.

This week the team hit the track in the Wacky Races. Their task is simple, make sure the race goes ahead without a hitch. Or a death. Or a crime against humanity.

Their host is Jon, so this should be easy...


This episode featured several sound effects used under the Creative Commons attribution licence. They can be found on Many thanks to...

Omar Alvarado for his cannons, found here, 

Tim.Kahn, for his crowd of Boo-ers, found here,

lonemonk, for his drag racing cars, here,

ikbenraar for his racing BMW M3s, here,

Debsound for yet more rally cars, here

and finally okieactor, for the gunshot, found here.

Thanks guys!

Escape the Snakes & Ladders

Join Aled and Mike as they slide down into a huge game that it seems Christopher Robin created under his house!
How many times will Aled ask to hear the same thing?
  • Can Mike coerce over a Walkie-Talkie?

  • Which one of them will get to the end first?
  • Who is Titi?
Tune in, and find out!

Escape the Hundred Acre Wood!

Oh bother!

With Winnie the Pooh entering the public domain in 2022, Jamie takes Mike and Laura through a little stroll through the Hundred Acre Wood. Can they make it out before the House of Mouse comes a-stomping through the trees?

Cue a very sticky bed, a gratuitous Winnie the Pooh impression, and many BEEEEEES.

This one was a little shorter than expected -  Mike and Laura did incredibly well. Note to self: make puzzles harder when playing with sober solvers.


’Escape the murderer, choo choo!’ said Thomas

Thomas is a very helpful engine. Can he help the gang solve a grisly murder within his carriage innards?

Join Ben, Jamie and Bailey as they burn, kick, rob and molest their way through Mike's frightful puzzle.

If you're playing along at home, you'll need something from Rupert's carriage. Here it is:


And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You good eggs you.


Escape the Railway Station.

Happy New Year!


We're back! Slightly older, slightly weirder, slightly drunker, but not slighter. We pickup where we left off with the team approaching an inoccent looking Railway Station, just in time to catch the last train home. If only they had enough money for tickets...

This episode features a new solver, Annekoos! (Honor-Coast without the "t" at the end"). She was sadly limited to a laptop mic, so apologies for the audio quality on her track, we'll get her setup properly in time for her next outing.

So without, further ado, lets get stuck in!

The Christmas Advent Calendar Remix

Merry Christmas Folks!

Wowza, what a year it's been. as you'll hear from the intro to this one - 2021 has given us one last kicking on its way out. We've decided not to rush something out to fill the gap, and instead be a bit more forgiving with our Christmas break than we usually are. We do hope you understand.

Rather than leave the feed fallow, we've decided to remix our 2019 advent calendar special, with a bit of extra commentary betwixt the episodes, accidentally making this the longest episode to date. If you'd like something whittering in the background of your own Christmas celebrations, then maybe this will fit the bill for you.


We love you lots, and we'll see you next year on The Infinite Escape Room

Mike, Ben, Jon and Jamie

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